AWAKE & DREAMING

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Fire

Fire - the destroyer or a cleanser? Everyone knows about the awesome destructive powers of fire. A small fire can burn & completly vanquish a vast, mighty forest as it's flames grows in size and envelops evertything that stands in it's path. In a couple of days, it can burn up things that may have taken years to build. It is is unrelenting and unfeeling. It shows no remorse or guilt or compassion. It can be the ultimate destroyer without soul.


Or you can look upon it as cleansing, giving a fresh start to the person who uses the fire to be in that way. By burning things that reminded you of the bad times and things that stood in the way of achiveing somthing good, it can free you. Which is why in myth & stories & movies, you always see fire as the weapon that finally defeats evil - a monster or a house or a building or an alien! Fire is that which we chose it to be.

Since I have just two more days before my folks and I vacate our home in Thrikkakara and move to the apartment in the city, we were busy packing up stuff to be moved to the new place. What we won't be able to squeeze into the apartment (hey, we have been piling up junk from the early 1980's; stuff which fits in a big house but will not fit into a 3 bedroom flat), we are temporarily storing in an uncle's house or in my maternal grandma's place. A whole bunch of newspapers, papers, magazine stuff, cards, letters & wrappers were found and dumped in the backyard to burn. I saw the burning going on and soon added a whole pile of my shit into the fire and further fanned the flames. I saw some old cards & books from lost loves, even some porno :) and other sort of stuff that I dumped into the fire pit.

I felt like my old life was being closed right before my eyes; chapters of my life being destroyed as the flames turned it into ashes. It felt like the end of an era & the beginning of one. The old one had a lot of fun and a lot of tears & heartaches behind it. I hope the new era is somewhat fun at all times. And as the fire died down,only black.grey ashes remained. Is that symbolic? Is life as I knew it been changed to this....ashes? Or is it signaling the end of the problems and the beginning of new hope and a new purpose in a new life? Well, only time will tell.



Song for the day - "Fire Woman" - THE CULT