Saturday, November 04, 2006

Family Ties

I was up very late last night (or should it be this morning since I went to bed at only around 4:15 am or so and I couldn't close my eyes for a long time after that) and hence am in 'the zombie' phase (face?) for the rest of the day. My brain feels like it is floating above and watching me from afar. My head feels like it is filled with a ton of lead. My eyes looks like the way I feel after doing a whole lot more pleasurable activity. My nerves are shot and I could use some more coffee. With Milk! Lots of coffee. I might fall asleep in the toilet if I am not careful.

I was chatting on the phone and then on MSN Messenger with a cousin of mine this morning. I uploaded some of my pics into his website and entered a couple of lines in his online forum. I saw that several of our cousins had already created ids in his site and had been posting for quite some time. Although I had known about this site and the facilities there, I dunno why, this was the first time that I had visited it properly. I had tried to go to his site earlier, but I only saw the front page with a picture of him and his wife in it. Somehow, my anti-social behaviour, established much earlier and then loosened in 2005, but again re-established with renewed vigour at the end of last year, prehaps prohibited me from connecting with various members of my family. Is it shame? Perhaps a healthy dose of it.

Anyway, while checking out some of the comments that were posted by many of my cousins, I did feel a bit of nostalgia and hoped to re-enter into that world, one which I had closed the door. Perhaps now is the time to rethink my position in the family. I am perfectly fine with being a loner. Let's see, I haven't been to a family function, other than the house warming of sorts of our apartment, which I could not avoid at all costs, in ages. Maybe I should start slowly and establish lost links. Connecting with them online is one thing; doing it in person is quite another. We shall see!

Thinking about this, one song came to me. Although the song sounds like a man losing and looking for his faith, when I thought about family ties, it somehow seemed appropriate. In the middle of the night, I go walking in my sleep". Great song!!

Song for the day - "River Of Dreams" - BILLY JOEL


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